Dangerous Words

Fuck it, I’m saying it:

I miss you, my love.

Now, you are just splashes of light and dark, color and paleness, drifting away as my screen scrolls.


We are on a road, somewhere near Ojai. It is the perfect February day: crisp and clear, but not cold. We have a destination, but it isn’t important at this moment.

I look over at you, and am overcome with your loveliness. For the millionth time, I wonder how, with all the reasons why not, we are together. But we are.

And in my mind, I am holding you, just to feel who you are. I drive on, in a rare state of contentment.

Fast forward to That Day. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the devastation I witnessed. I could not fathom the lost self-possession that had been your hallmark. Yes, you were crazy, now. The demons you’d fought for a quarter of a century had taken advantage of a lull in your defenses, swarmed the battlements, and taken even the high tower where you had made your final refuge.

I know you fought bravely and hard, for a long time. This was not weakness.

But they took you, and now you are just words on a social networking site.

A constant reminder that I still do not wish to avoid.

Los Angeles, October 26, 2014


Haiku: The Truth

your costume nicely
hides the stained and terrified
person that wears it

lies have a life and death of their own, but the most truth-destroying are the ones we require ourselves to believe.

27 March 2015, Los Angeles

Swept Away

The great wave came and
Swept me away
Like a mote seen floating in a sunlit room
I drift now

But I also see and
Hear and
This world through which
These currents carry

I learned a thing and
Became wiser
But it made me

For am I swept now away and
There is no telling where
Or whom
I might next be

Los Angeles, March 25, 2015


Life began.
It just did.
In that gooey stuff that was to pass for time,
There was a moment, and then There Was Life™.

It was the same moment the universe was made.
And because time really isn’t,
It was the same moment every mote was made;
And every energy ravaging star
That was or ever will be;
And there were great collidings,
Barely giving time for coalescing before the massive forms
Rent one another in blinding demonstrations of cosmic force.

But we were not made, for we did the making, and were,
And are,
The Life that we created.
Formless or formed, it is us.


Los Angeles, October 27, 2014


Though you may stop the clock,
Time continues.

The Great Fallacy fools us all!

And yet –
And yet…

The mask of beingness and becomingness
Covers every rock, every tree, every…thing.
It hides us from each other,
For “the time is not right.”

RIGHT time?
You would let time rule your life,
That great lie at the center of all lies?

Do not. Do not.

For I would like to accept your forgiveness,
And give you mine.

May 29, 2014, Los Angeles


The Rose

“…by any other name…,” said the ill-fated lover.

So, what is in a name?
What do you picture when I say, “a rose”?
Is it this?
rose red

Do you expect a certain scent? Thorns? A long stem?

Do you think of romance, love, and matters of the heart?

There is power in names.
We are a people of labels.
Reality is what we think it is.
Names shape reality.

Would you smell as sweet, by any other name?


Los Angeles, May 13, 2014